Emotions aren’t just in your head
Have you ever wondered why emotions are also often called “feelings”? We use this term because we literally feel them in our bodies. Those butterflies in your stomach, a pounding heart, ice-cold hands and feet, blushing, getting overheated, feeling warm and fuzzy, a boost of energy, relaxation? All of these physical sensations can be ways emotions manifest in your body.
What connects your mental experience of emotions with your body, creating physical experiences that accompany life experiences like grief, love, joy, anger, fear, and more?
Your nervous system.
Emotional dysregulation and the nervous system
It’s normal to have physical responses to emotional experiences. These responses often lead to experiences that help you regulate after an emotional trigger sends you off-kilter. Crying is a great example. Researchers have shown that crying helps your nervous system release some of the stored emotional energy, bringing you back in balance. How does crying help? It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your nervous system that helps you slow down, rest, and restore.
That said, the physical experience of emotions can become overwhelming, especially if you struggle with dysregulated emotions. Having huge, long-lasting emotional responses can make coming back to a calm state an uphill battle, and extended, intense emotional responses are a common symptom of many mental health conditions. These dysregulated emotions can trigger your sympathetic nervous system, the part of your nervous system that pushes you to fight, flee, or freeze, generating huge physical responses that overwhelm you in the moment, making regulating your emotions even harder.
Regulation is possible, even in intense emotional experiences
You’re probably left wondering: does it have to be this way? Our answer is a resounding “No!”
TIPP: Shifting your nervous system from fight or flight to rest and digest
DBT treatment for mental health offers life skills you can use immediately to reduce your physical response to emotions, creating room for you to work on regulating your emotions. TIPP, a DBT distress tolerance skill that offers four different ways to shift your nervous system to a calmer state, is one such tool to help you regulate.
Temperature
The phrase “chill out” is surprisingly accurate. Cooling down your body triggers your parasympathetic nervous system. You can hold ice cubes in your hands (only 30 seconds at a time, to prevent skin damage), splash your face with very cold water, drink a glass of ice water, place an ice pack on the back of your neck (cover it with a dishcloth first to protect your skin), or take a cold shower.
Intense exercise
A quick 10-15 minute burst of activity like a speedy walk or even a run, having a dance party, lifting weights, doing some jumping jacks or burpees, or any kind of movement you enjoy that increases your heart rate can help you shake off extra emotional energy. You don’t need to go to extremes; just some satisfying movement that brings your heart rate up can trigger your parasympathetic nervous system to moderate your heart rate, helping your body shift out of fight or flight.
Paced breathing
Slowing down your breathing teaches your body that you are safe. Paced breathing for 1-2 minutes can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body lower your heart rate, reduce sweating, and cool you off from being flushed. You can even add visualization to paced breathing, imagining you’re breathing out the intense emotions to help you regulate them.
Paced breathing can simply be breathing with a long inhale and an even longer exhale or counting during each breath to give yourself a steady breathing pace. Some examples include:
- Box breathing: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds.
- Breathe in through your nose for a count of four and out through your mouth for a count of eight.
Paired or progressive muscle relaxation
When your sympathetic nervous system is active, your muscles tense. Your brain wants you ready for anything, and the tension in your body shows it. Intentional muscle relaxation helps guide your nervous system back to a resting phase. There are two ways to try this exercise:
- Inhale and tense the muscles in your body. Feel that tension throughout, then relax all the muscles you can as you exhale. Try to do this a few times, and notice how you feel after several rounds of relaxing your muscles.
- Sit or lie quietly and tense your head/face muscles for one inhale. Relax them on the exhale. Move down to your shoulders, tense on the inhale, and relax on the exhale. Now, your arms, torso, upper legs, and lower legs. Tense on the inhale, relax on the exhale. What do you notice that’s different? Are you less overwhelmed by your emotions?
How can you remember to use TIPP in the moment?
Now that you know how to adjust your nervous system to help you manage your emotions, it’s time to put it to use in everyday life.
It’s easy to remember distress tolerance skills like holding ice cubes or using breathing exercises when you’re feeling calm, but when you’re in the middle of an emotional upheaval, it can be harder to pause and use your skills to help you calm down.
How do you keep TIPP handy for tough emotions and physical overwhelm?
Write it down where you’ll see it regularly
Write out your favorite DBT skills, like the TIPP skill, on sticky notes, and put them where you’ll see them regularly. Your bathroom mirror, car dashboard, or work desk are all great options. Choose places that will be obvious to you when you’re emotionally overwhelmed so you can quickly see the tools you need to withstand emotional distress.
Leaving notes for yourself may feel a little weird at first; that’s normal! Sticky notes all around your house or your car with acronyms like TIPP and STOP, may feel silly, but they’re a powerful visual reminder of the skills you know will help you. They’re also proof you’re investing in your well-being by learning how to tolerate distress.
Create a distress tolerance skills toolkit
One common DBT approach to distress tolerance is to gather things that help you self-soothe together in one place so you have a toolkit on hand when you’re grappling with a distressing feeling or an emotional situation.
Distress tolerance toolkits often include sensory items like lavender oil or minty gum, comforting objects like fidget toys or soft blankets, and headphones for soothing music. You can add DBT skill worksheets, information cards, or even just a list of distress tolerance skills in your toolkit to quickly remind you that you can get through this moment. It’s a reminder that you’ve got this, and you’ll make it through to calmer moments if you use what you learn in your DBT treatment program.
Make checking in with yourself a habit
This suggestion combines the DBT skill of mindfulness with distress tolerance skills like TIPP. If you practice introspection regularly, where you look inward and consider the thoughts and feelings of the moment, sitting with them without labeling them as “good” or “bad” but simply there, a part of you, it gets easier to use introspection to notice difficult emotions or strong feelings faster. This helps you use your DBT distress tolerance skills like TIPP before you’re entirely emotionally overwhelmed.
How does TIPP fit in with a DBT mental health treatment program?
DBT mental health treatment programs combine individual therapy, group therapy with DBT skill practice, and in-the-moment phone support from your therapist when day-to-day life gets tough.
THIRA Health is a Bellevue mental health clinic where we welcome adolescent girls, women, and gender-nonconforming individuals. TIPP is one of many DBT distress tolerance skills we use, alongside mindfulness, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness DBT skills in our holistic, empathetic, and effective DBT treatment program. If you’re ready to make real change in your life, including using your nervous system to support your emotional well-being, connect with us today to get started.
